Time

Today took forever. I was late for classes and my homework is late and I'm pretty sure I did terribly on the calculus test. I'm going to work hard all day tomorrow on this stuff to make sure my semester doesn't come to a tragic end.

Its funny. You know, we always hear the words that people will remember your mistakes and your mistakes will mold who you are...but I never really swallowed it until recently. There really is no way to go back and undo things you've done. I am a fairly unrealistic guy a lot of times. There is a place for being irrational. But that place for me is surely not here, not now. And it would be irrational to hope that things would heal up quicker than they are.

I used to find comfort in being alone, dwelling on my feelings, and music. It has taken a very real smack upside the head to get me to a place where I don't allow myself to feed off that stuff. It's funny...the songs I write (which I write all the time) always reflect what I am pursuing. I hadn't written any songs at all for almost two months until just recently. And I find myself singing the songs I wrote at summer camp, songs about Him. I'm so lost and far from Him and I don't want to let it slip away again to where He is just second in my life. He's brought me to this place and I will use it to glorify Him.

Sometimes I wish there was a place where no one else could reach, where I could be alone with Him. I am learning to trust Him to take me there.

Other than all that, my finals are done on the 15th I believe and I really can't wait. I want school and my court date to be over. Then...then, I can relax ha ha.

I think I'm gonna finish up a rap song I started when I was about...eh...15? ha ha, it'll be fun.